24 July 2008

Thirteen Zen Sarcasms


1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.

2 The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt or a leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn, so if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

9. If at first you don't succeed...... skydiving is not for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

12. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

13. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

See more Thursday Thirteens!

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6 comments:

Sassy Mama Bear said...

Hilarious, loved them all. Great TT topic. Mine is up at The Cafe, a review of Mamma Mia.

storyteller said...

Thanks for the ‘Zen chuckles’ this morning ;--)
Mine's up at Small Reflections.
Hugs and blessings,

Jen said...

Great list, thanks for starting my day with a good laugh!

suzannesaysblog.com said...

Excellent! I may have to use some of these on occasion. LOL

Debbie said...

Too funny!

~RaenWa~ said...

LOL I needed a good laugh these were funny thanx for sharing